Stephen Colbert revives Colbert Report segment to address 'free speech crisis' after Jimmy Kimmel...

"You can have your rights — just as long as you don't use them," the host's conservative alter ego remarked. Stephen Colbert revives Colbert Report segment to a

"You can have your rights — just as long as you don't use them," the host's conservative alter ego remarked.

Stephen Colbert revives *Colbert Report *segment to address 'free speech crisis' after Jimmy Kimmel suspension: 'Give up, America'

"You can have your rights — just as long as you don't use them," the host's conservative alter ego remarked.

By Emlyn Travis

Emlyn Travis is a news writer at **. She has been working at EW since 2022. Her work has previously appeared on MTV News, Teen Vogue, and *NME*.

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September 19, 2025 11:05 a.m. ET

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Stephen Colbert resurrects his 'Colbert Report' persona on 'The Late Show'. Credit:

Scott Kowalchyk/CBS

No more Mr. Nice Talk Show Host. Stephen Colbert revived his conservative *Colbert Report* character on Thursday's *The Late Show* to address the ongoing "free speech crisis" in the wake of ABC pulling *Jimmy Kimmel Live* from air indefinitely. **

During the episode, Colbert said that he had invited his "identical cousin" to speak to the nation in ways that he cannot because the show's network CBS "is trying to make sure they do not run afoul of Brendan Carr's FCC." His satirical conservative anchorman then crawled out from behind the* Late Show* desk and basked in the corresponding cheers as the* Colbert Report* theme song played.

"Hello nation, Daddy's home," Colbert declared. "So drop trow and lay across my lap, because I'm gonna spank you with freedom until I can see the American flag reflected in your shiny, swollen asses."

Stephen Colbert revives 'The Word' segment from 'The Colbert Report' on 'The Late Show'.

Colbert announced that he'd made his comeback to "rescue you from this free speech crisis" before launching into his segment, "The Word." The sketch features Colbert making bold declarations about popular news topics while witty jokes are quietly displayed on the graphic beside him. **

"Nation folk, America is facing perhaps its greatest crisis in 249 years," Colbert began. "You see, people are saying things that hurt Donald Trump's feelings." **

The 61-year-old explained that while "eyeballs" and "advertising" typically just go elsewhere if a TV show does something that they don't like, "in this ABC case, the FCC had no choice but to slap down the invisible hand of the market."

ABC put *Jimmy Kimmel Live *on an indefinite suspension on Wednesday after affiliate groups, including Nexstar and Sinclair, announced that they would preempt the talk show as a response to Kimmel's comments about Tyler Robinson, the alleged killer of conservative podcaster Charlie Kirk.****On Monday's episode of *Kimmel*, the host said: "We had some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and with everything they can to score political points from it."

ABC affiliate group Sinclair demands Jimmy Kimmel stay off the air until he apologizes, pays Charlie Kirk's family

'Patriotically obedient' Jon Stewart defers to 'father' Trump on The Daily Show

On *The Late Show*, Colbert implored people to think of the former Trump Steak founder's feelings when making mean comments. "Now, you might think the Constitution coddlers out there argue that Americans are born with certain God-given rights like life and liberty and, of course, the pursuit of happiness," he said. "But what about the pursuit of Donald Trump's happiness?" **

While Colbert acknowledged that the words "Donald Trump" aren't in the Constitution ("yet," the accompanying graphic added), he noted that he can claim they are simply because he has freedom of speech.

"So how do you balance your rights with your duty not to make the commander in chief fill his Depends with tears?" Colbert asked. "Ladies and gentlemen, my friends, it's shockingly simple. Here. Observe."

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Colbert then fell silent and mimed zipping his lips shut. "Now was that so hard?" he asked. "You can have your rights — just as long as you don't use them."

He also found a loophole for other talk show hosts, too. "Of course, the Sally Sticklers out there may want to hear you talk on your talk show, but, ladies and gentlemen, here's the thing: You can talk and still say nothing!" Colbert declared. "The thing is all you have to do is repeat whatever the approved message is from the White House today."

And, to prove his point, the graphic changed to "I never met Jeffrey Epstein."

But Colbert insisted that viewers take their allegiance to the former *Apprentice* host a step further.  "Remember, my friends, anyone can be silent in the face of an autocrat," he said. "You have a responsibility to do more than just censor yourself: You need to turn in your friends. Write down what they say. Get them fired. Then a true patriot can take their place saying nothing on TV."**

He continued, "And, most importantly, don't ever complain no matter what the president does. Even if he sends the army to your hometown. Just shut up and take it, right, Speaker Mike Johnson?"**

Colbert then cut to a clip of Johnson in which he encouraged Democratic mayors to "yield" and let the National Guard be deployed in their cities. **

"Yes, yield! Yield is my favorite road sign," Colbert emphasized. "And sure, not using your rights out of fear might feel like not having them, but as George Washington [said]: 'Sometimes you have to destroy freedom to save it.' So give up, America. Just give up and stop saying anything that might upset the president. And if you think that's a terrible idea, no, you don't."**

Colbert was one of the remaining late-night hosts who reacted to Kimmel being yanked from the air, with* The Tonight Show*'s Jimmy Fallon, *Late Night*'s Seth Meyers, and *The Daily Show*'s Jon Stewart all addressing the situation on their respective programs.**

Trump, who has advocated for all of the late-night hosts to be removed from television for months now, publicly gloated after learning of Kimmel's suspension. "Great News for America: The ratings challenged Jimmy Kimmel Show is CANCELLED," he wrote on Truth Social. "Congratulations to ABC for finally having the courage to do what had to be done. Kimmel has ZERO talent, and worse ratings than even Colbert, if that's possible." **

He continued, "That leaves Jimmy and Seth, two total losers, on Fake News NBC. Their ratings are also horrible. Do it NBC!!! President DJT." ****Watch "The Word" segment above.**

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